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Diffstat (limited to 'main.typ')
| -rw-r--r-- | main.typ | 28 |
1 files changed, 14 insertions, 14 deletions
@@ -136,11 +136,11 @@ First edition #eyes("open") #p[ #[I had been awake for nearly 23 hours now, and yet I was still dreaming.] - #[Oh Teresa, how I miss you. As hard as I'ved tried, I could not get you out of my head. I wanted you to come back. But I needed you to go away.] - #[Every time I closed my eyes I saw you. I would blink and in the darkness, it was your face I saw.] - #[I've always wondered what should I have done? Is there something I could've done to keep you here? Oh, if only I could go back, I'd think of something to keep you beside me. To think I let you go so easily. I wouldn't let it happen again, I swear!] + #[Oh, Teresa, how I miss you. As hard as I've tried, I could not get you out of my head. I wanted you to come back. But I needed you to go away.] + #[Every time I closed my eyes, I saw you. I would blink, and in the darkness, it was your face I saw.] + #[I've always wondered what should I have done. Is there something I could've done to keep you here? Oh, if only I could go back, I'd think of something to keep you beside me. To think I let you go so easily. I wouldn't let it happen again, I swear!] #[I wished I could just stop thinking of you. I thought it might be better if I had never known you. All those memories feel so tainted now. For a time, I did not want them. I went through so much trouble for you, and I could go through so much more, but I've never felt anything like what I felt after you passed.] - #[This night went on for a very long time and it showed no sign of stopping. I couldn't sleep, for if I did, I'd dream of you. I did everything I could do to stay awake. I tried taping my eyes open, but the tape always comes off. My hands held them from closing. My eyes strained to stay open. If I so much as blinked, I'd regret it dearly.] + #[This night went on for a very long time, and it showed no sign of stopping. I couldn't sleep, for if I did, I'd dream of you. I did everything I could do to stay awake. I tried taping my eyes open, but the tape always comes off. My hands held them from closing. My eyes strained to stay open. If I so much as blinked, I'd regret it dearly.] ] #p[#[*_Ding!_*]] #p[#[My phone went off, startling my eyes to send me into darkness. Into a nightmare I tried so hard to avoid.]] @@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ First edition #[My mouth gaped open. The sight of her face was burned into my memory. I hated both seeing her, and not seeing her. Like a cold shower you never want to enter, and never want to leave.] #[When I awoke, I was still looking towards the nightstand, still illuminated by the dinging phone. I looked around just to remember where I was, and started to reckon with the fact that Teresa was not here. Why could her death not be the dream? Why could this not be the nightmare?] #[I knew that before I could check my phone, I must first do more to ensure that I did not blink again, lest I go through another nightmare.] - #[I grabbed some more tape. I cut it into several pieces. I put a couple on my eyelids, and left the rest to the side in preparation for it to come off. I held my hand on the tape to help it last. All the while my eyes strained to stay as wide as possible. The average person blinks 15 times every minute, and I was trying to bring that down to zero. Sure sounds impossible, doesn't it? Maybe I was blinking that whole time and I just didn't notice. But I doubt that would have mattered to me then. I just needed to make sure I didn't see _her_.] + #[I grabbed some more tape. I cut it into several pieces. I put a couple on my eyelids, and left the rest to the side in preparation for it to come off. I held my hand on the tape to help it last. All the while, my eyes strained to stay as wide as possible. The average person blinks fifteen times every minute, and I was trying to bring that down to zero. Sure sounds impossible, doesn't it? Maybe I was blinking that whole time, and I just didn't notice. But I doubt that would have mattered to me then. I just needed to make sure I didn't see _her_.] #[I picked up the phone to see what the fuss was about. I was careful to make sure the sudden light did not disturb me this time. The notification was for an email I received, telling me about a new comment on an old blog post I wrote.] ] @@ -181,11 +181,11 @@ First edition #p[#[I knew this must have been an old post, because I had no recollection of ever writing it. I opened the email and scrolled up to figure out what on Earth I had written about.]] #pad(x: 1em)[#p[ - #["My girlfriend and I spent the week together on a trip to visit her relatives in Connecticut. On our journey we went hiking, saw some neat sights and critters \[...\]"] + #["My girlfriend and I spent the week together on a trip to visit her relatives in Connecticut. On our journey, we went hiking, saw some neat sights and critters \[...\]"] ]] #p[ - #["God dammit!". I tossed the phone to the other side of the room, hitting a lamp and knocking it over. I didn't care to check if either the lamp or the phone survived. _Why must this be happening?_] + #["God dammit!" I tossed the phone to the other side of the room, hitting a lamp and knocking it over. I didn't care to check if either the lamp or the phone survived. _Why must this be happening?_] #[I buried my face in my hands. _Why did I ever open my phone in the first place?_ The room was so dark already. My hands hid the last of the remaining light. And in the darkness, Teresa's face came to me once again.] ] @@ -196,7 +196,7 @@ First edition #[I was driving along the highway, with Teresa in the passenger seat. Right in front of me was a sign, "Welcome to New York".] #[Teresa was on the phone with her mom. "Yes, we really enjoyed our trip! Right, Frank?" Her eyes turned towards me.] #["Yeah, of course. Lots of good history there."] - #["Those last minute complications with the hotel were annoying, but Frank pulled through, like he always does."] + #["Those last-minute complications with the hotel were annoying, but Frank pulled through, like he always does."] #[_Oh, right. That._ I finally turned to look towards her. She had that same bright smile I always loved. Her family loves her so much. It's not hard to imagine why. She always made sure to keep in touch with her family, and tell them about all of her great stories.] // FIXME: this feels too sudden #[Teresa looked at me, suddenly startled. "Frank, look out!"] @@ -211,7 +211,7 @@ First edition #["So, we're good?" she asked.] #["Yeah, I guess." I let out a deep sigh. "Sorry about that."] #[We sat in silence for a moment, until Teresa couldn't help but let out a giggle. "Hey, that was kinda funny, wasn't it?"] - #[As much as loved seeing her smile, I really didn't know how to respond to that. "Yeah, I guess." That was about all I could muster.] + #[As much as I loved seeing her smile, I really didn't know how to respond to that. "Yeah, I guess." That was about all I could muster.] #[She picked up her phone and rang up her mom again. I guess we took long enough that her mom must've hung up. Or maybe Teresa did. In any case, Teresa called her mom back. She still had a small smile on her face, but not quite the one that I was used to. "Yeah, we're okay. Don't worry about it. No, really, it's okay. Frank handled it. Say, did Jeff get his birthday present yet?"] #[Of course, Teresa would never have willingly told her mom about what happened. She was always so optimistic about the future, and she never dwelled on the past. I remember her being stern the rest of the day, but I never really knew what she was thinking.] ] @@ -229,10 +229,10 @@ First edition #eyes("closed") #p[ - #[Hurry up! I'm getting soaked!" Teresa jogged in the rain, gesturing me to come towards the house. I started running to catch up with her. In her hands, she held a small package covered in gift wrapping paper. On top were the words, "From Frank, To Teresa".] + #["Hurry up! I'm getting soaked!" Teresa jogged in the rain, gesturing me to come towards the house. I started running to catch up with her. In her hands, she held a small package covered in gift wrapping paper. On top were the words, "From Frank, To Teresa".] #["Don't open it without me!" I shouted back.] #["Then hurry up!"] - #[When we got inside, Teresa was sat on the couch. Her fingers were already gripping the edge of the wrapping paper. She left the door open behind her, leaving me to close it. "Be patient," I said. "Don't ruin your own wrapping paper."] + #[When we got inside, Teresa was sitting on the couch. Her fingers were already gripping the edge of the wrapping paper. She left the door open behind her, leaving me to close it. "Be patient," I said. "Don't ruin your own wrapping paper."] #[She lifted the package and twisted it to study it more closely. "Is this the paper I made?"] #[I sat down next to her, smiling. "I could only use the best paper."] #[She carefully peeled the tape off of the package, not wanting the paper to rip. When she finally got it removed, she saw a crochet hook inside. The grip was rounded in the back, and flat on the front. She picked it up and looked at it in awe. "It's surprisingly comfortable. I can't remember the last time I had a hook like it." She gave me a hug, and I hugged her back. "Thank you, honey."] @@ -281,7 +281,7 @@ First edition #[I spent more time in that shower than I wanted to. I just couldn't stop thinking about what I planned to do. I lost track of time. And the warm drops of water felt so good. Even if I couldn't tell which ones came from the showerhead, and which ones came from my face. Teresa and I weren't good for each other. I still believe that to this very day. So many arguments and so much stress. I always said she would be the death of me. The letter on that coffee table might have saved me, or both of us, from each other. But at what cost?] #[Our shower drain was very clogged. I kept trying to fix it. The tub was half full at that point, and I knew it was time to get out. As for what I was going to do...] #[I think I would have hidden that letter. I'm sure our next conversation would've been traumatic after that. But I did think that being unprepared would be better. I don't know what I was thinking. I think I hardly even was. I just don't know.] - #[I took one very long deep breath before leaving the bathroom.] + #[I took one very long, deep breath before leaving the bathroom.] #[And Teresa was there.] ] @@ -329,7 +329,7 @@ First edition #set page(fill: gradient.linear(cmyk(0%, 0%, 1%, 1%), cmyk(0%, 2%, 2%, 0%), dir: ttb)) #p[ - #[Of course that wasn't the best I could do. I only hurt the both of us. I could've done anything else, and I picked the worst choice.] + #[Of course that wasn't the best I could do. I only hurt both of us. I could've done anything else, and I picked the worst choice.] ] #p[] @@ -356,7 +356,7 @@ First edition #p[ - #[_Dammit, what was thinking?!_] + #[_Dammit, what was I thinking?!_] #[Why can't all my memories be like that? Teresa. That smile. Those eyes. Your joy. I just wanted to feel that again. I tried to. I closed my eyes again, hoping that I would see her happy.] ] |